How to Find Yourself
Sometimes in life we may find ourselves in circumstances that wake us up to the reality that we may have made some unconscious decisions in the past and it has now lead to a negative or restrictive life experience.
How you lose yourself..
When this happens, everything that we’ve ever believed about ourselves, others, and the world gets flipped upside down and it’s a very depressing or angry moment depending on the individual.
However, what happens next is really makes someone “lose themselves”, which is that they don’t how to change their circumstance and/or are incredibly afraid and too weak to make the change. So they tend to get into drugs, over-use of alcohol, excessive internet use, pornography, really anything and everything to numb them from actual life.
What losing yourself is and is not..
These behaviors are results of consistent negative thoughts and emotions, these thoughts and emotions are basically connected to the lower parts of us, let me explain.
Every human has lower parts and higher parts, we have a whole spectrum of emotional and mental states. For example, you may have a loving state, happy state, sad state, angry state etc.
These are four total different parts of you and there’s dozens and even more. You can really notice what I mean from this example; have you ever seen someone close to you get into an angry rage, where their eyes change, vocal tone and their whole energy shifts? Yes, it’s almost like their possessed.
Ok, so isn’t true that we have multiple parts of ourselves? yes.
So when some-one says I’m not myself, what they’re basically saying is that I’m not feeling the positive parts of myself anymore and I’m scared and confused.
When someone is “lost” they’ve just been consistently in the lower parts of themselves and in those states life is cold, dark, and completely terrifying & lonely with a higher potentiality of problems to occur.
So to think your lost or trying to find yourself, you’ve bought into an illusion of the ego. Your not lost, and you don’t need to find anything.
What I show you here is three simple insights to re-discover yourself and move back into the higher emotional and mental states. In these states you will have a higher potentiality to find clarity about your destiny moving forward.
Remember this little quote by a mad scientist
“You can’t change a problem with the same mindset that has created it” – Albert Einstein
Insight One: Journaling
A writing practice is very powerful and can provide you much clarity. When we go about our life and have our life experiences, so much is happening and the brain gets cluttered and can’t process accurately.
Writing questions and answering them on paper will help you to discover yourself and understand what’s happening in your life. Question examples: What do I love most about myself? What am I most afraid of and why? What would I love to experience in life? What am I most grateful for etc. Be creative with the questions, make sure to do this practice consistently at night.
Insight two: Spend time alone
Spend time alone ideally in nature, pondering. This will be very scary for anyone in the beginning because the mind will be chaotic and will want to fill the void with stimulation and comfort, but as you consistently practice being alone, your mind will soften and you will start to like being your own presence. This will be a life changing moment for you. Next insight here is to cut out the influence of those around you, spend less and less time with your family, partner, friends, and tribe, their voices can most of the time over power your mind and create confusion. Start to trust your own voice and/or selectively read and listen to someone that you look up to and they most of the time will help you think differently about yourself.
Insight three: Self care
Move your body with exercise, start eating well, start drinking more water, get more sleep, take a bath, go for a walk, basically start loving yourself enough and honoring yourself to take care of your health and wellbeing. As you do this you will develop energy and confidence, and you’ll have a short-cut back to your higher states of mind and emotion. You will feel better, more like yourself. 😉
Essentially you’ll also have more power and belief in yourself to finally make the change you know you must make.
Seek not to find yourself, that type of thinking already puts you at a disadvantage.
It separates you from yourself.
It’s a lack mindset based on fear, insinuating that you’re lost.
Which is not true.
The other day I met two women at a bed and breakfast, and one women said to the other aloud, “don’t worry the bed isn’t broken it’s just temporarily apart.”
I smiled and jumped in their conversation and said, “wow, that’s a great metaphor for life!”
When someone thinks their broken, that’s not necessarily true. More accurately, temporarily apart.
The key my friend is to remember yourself, re-discover who you are, it’s there, in you, in your heart, in the background of the noisy mind.
Look within, not without.
Listen to the heart beat.
Allow yourself to feel.
Look into your owns eyes, your own soul and observe the watcher behind it all.
You’re still here, alway’s and forever. Remember. Remember. Remember.
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